Writing in Times of Crisis
*Today I’m sharing a special guest post from author Kathie Giorgio as part of a WOW! Women On Writing Blog Tour for her latest release Don’t Let Me Keep You. Thank you, Kathie!
It’s ironic, really. When I agreed to write this guest blog on this particular topic, I figured I was going to be talking about how I kept writing during the year that I dealt with breast cancer - 2017. In my mind, that was the worst year of my life.
Then, this year, my husband was struck and run over by a passenger van while he was crossing at a busy intersection in downtown Milwaukee. He suffered multiple skull fractures, a fracture in his back and left tibia, fractured ribs, brain bleeds, and a traumatic brain injury, plus the loss of hearing in his left ear and the vision in his left eye. He tried to recover for five months, but ultimately died on June 19th of this year. Our 25th wedding anniversary was October 9th.
It’s been a very hard year.
Michael was struck on January 17th. I was working on my 15th book, my 8th novel, and the deadline to hand it in to the publisher was March 1st. Suddenly, I was in a new and chaotic world – the hospital environment, from ICU to step-down room (twice) to rehab to home with lots of caretaking duties, back to the hospital, and then hospice.
And…I had a book due.
Of course, I could have asked for an extension. But honestly, I think writing, and in particular, writing on deadline, kept me sane. During the terrifying, yet silent, first part of this journey, when Michael was in ICU and nonresponsive, it gave me something to focus on, something that we both loved and shared.
While for many writers, writing is a career, and an art form, it is also an escape, especially if you write fiction. Throughout my life, I’ve used writing as a way to step out of my life and get into someone else’s. Mostly, when I do this, it’s really not to escape my life, but a way to experience other lives, other situations, other thoughts and feelings. But in times of crisis, it’s also a way to get the hell out. For these five months, that’s what writing was for me.
So first, the book that was due. While my husband was in ICU, he was mostly nonresponsive, and so there wasn’t a whole lot I could do. If I’d asked for a deadline extension, I would have spent most of my time sitting by his side, staring at him, perseverating, wondering what was going to happen, losing myself in the grief I was already feeling over the accident, and over what might still be to come. An uncertain future, or possibly, no future at all.
About two days in, I brought my computer with me to the ICU. The nurses were wonderful, and they provided me with an extra rolling tray and a comfy chair, so I could sit next to my husband’s bed while I worked. Michael was a writer too, and we were each other’s main source of critique. He read his work to me, I read to him. Luckily, we both write/wrote in different genres, so there wasn’t any sense of competition. Michael wrote mystery, primarily. And I write primarily literary fiction. But over our 25-year marriage, we supported each other and held each other up with honest and straightforward critique.
I was in the final draft of my novel, Don’t Let Me Keep You (released on 10/3/24). And so…I read out loud to Michael. In the ICU, I made my way through the entire book. As I read, I stopped from time to time to ask questions – “Do you think that works? Am I too wordy here? Does this make sense?” – and I watched Michael carefully for any response. While I’d like to say that Michael suddenly sat up and began to talk to me, he didn’t. But often his facial expression changed. He turned his head toward me, frowned, or relaxed into what looked like a smile. So I pushed ahead.
It’s to be noted that when Michael did regain consciousness and cognition, he said to me, “I heard the whole thing. It’s lovely.” His choice of the word “lovely” was so important – it’s the highest compliment I give to students when I’m critiquing their work.
As time went on and we moved through the hospital and rehab and finally home for a short time before he returned to the hospital and then hospice, I rearranged my schedule so that I could still get writing done. I’m primarily an afternoon writer, since I meet with coaching clients in the morning, and then teach classes and meet with more clients in the evening. I tried to schedule his home health aide visits in the afternoon, which freed me up to actually sit at my desk and work.
But here’s the thing – and this is very different from what I would have written if I was writing about my year with breast cancer. I cut myself some slack. When there is a crisis involving someone else, we often try to diminish what it’s doing to us. But I was surrounded by trauma for those five months. My world was falling apart as I tried to pull it together. While I did write during this time, I didn’t write as much as usual – and I decided I was okay with that.
We are writers, and somehow, sometimes, we think that if we aren’t actively writing, we lose that role. That is absolutely not true. In other careers, do people take time off, time away, personal days, sick days, days when you simply don’t have the energy to put forward your best work? Of course. It is that way with writing too. Luckily, I was not at the beginning of my career, but pretty entrenched in it, and my identity is so immersed in being a writer that I knew I still was one, even if I wasn’t writing.
Though I will admit, that when Michael died, I wondered if I would ever write again. I was just so depleted. I became, in a sense, a writer who was finished with writing.
Michael died in June. In August, I took a trip to the Oregon coast. I’ve been going there since 2006, at least once a year, completely by myself, to involve myself in writing, writing, and more writing. When I’m there, I leave everything else behind. I’m not a wife, a mother, a teacher, or a small business owner. I am a writer, and I write from sun-up to sun-down to when the moon sends a silver path over the ocean. I wondered, this year, why I was going. I didn’t need to go away to be alone anymore. I am more alone than I’ve ever been. I was no longer a wife. And I wasn’t writing. I nearly canceled the trip. I did shrink it from three weeks to two. I decided, with what I’d been through and was still going through, it was okay to go to this place I love and simply sit on the deck, stare at the ocean, and try to recover.
And an amazing thing happened.
In the little house I stay in, there is a writing nook. The antique table is pushed up to a bay window that looks out to the ocean. The women who own the little house put a bookshelf in the nook, and they display my books, which just fills me with pleasure.
I love this place.
On my first day there, a Sunday, I did sit on the deck and stare at the ocean. But on the second day, Monday, I stepped into the writing nook and opened my laptop. I didn’t expect much. But when I looked up several hours later, I’d written 20 pages of a new novel that I didn’t know I was going to write.
And then I cried in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to do for that whole awful period of time.
So instead of telling you that if you find yourself in crisis or illness, you should find yourself ways of carving out time to still get writing done, I will still tell you that, but add more. Be gentle with yourself. Dig deep and realize that you are a writer, whether or not you’re writing, just as a doctor is still a doctor even when not practicing medicine. It’s who you are. Writing will provide you with escape. It will provide you with a sense of empathy and compassion, which will be exhausting when you are experiencing the worst of times. And it will still be there, the ability will still be there, the love of it will still be there, when you return and face the page again.
About Author Kathie Giorgio
Kathie Giorgio is the author of a total of fifteen books: eight novels, two story collections, an essay collection, and four poetry collections. She’s been nominated for the Pushcart Prize in fiction and poetry and awarded the Outstanding Achievement Award from the Wisconsin Library Association, the Silver Pen Award for Literary Excellence, the Pencraft Award for Literary Excellence, and the Eric Hoffer Award In Fiction. Her poem “Light” won runner-up in the 2021 Rosebud Magazine Poetry Prize, and her work has also been incorporated into many visual art and musical events. Kathie is the director and founder of AllWriters’ Workplace & Workshop LLC, an international creative writing studio.
About Don’t Let Me Keep You
Motherhood is a symphony, from the first movement, through crescendo after crescendo, to the finale.
Hildy Halverson, a genius in math and science, is pushed by her parents to step into a male-dominated field and change the world for women. But Hildy, enamored of the scientific force of the human body, and her own body’s ability to create and sustain life, decides to go against contemporary expectations. She marries young and raises a houseful of kids.
Hildy wants her children to choose their own life paths. As each child is born, she tells them, “You can be whatever you want to be, and whatever you want to be will be great.” Despite her efforts to not influence her children, Hildy does so, often in unexpected ways. Each child is introduced in that first private moment between Hildy and her new baby. This is followed by a chapter revealing that child’s life, years later. Woven throughout is an underlying grief over the death of the sixth baby soon after birth. That grief is more pervasive than any of them expect.
In this ambitious novel, the struggles and joys, fatigue and exhilaration of motherhood, are captured in the full panorama of family life. Hildy lovingly raises her children, then lets them go, finding herself along the way.
Publisher: Black Rose Publishing (October 3, 2024)
Print length: 230 pages
Reviews for Don’t Let Me Keep You
Don’t Let Me Keep You is a lyrical meditation on motherhood seven times over, gestating, unfurling with rhythmic, poignant prose. Over decades we see each of the Halversons through the eyes of the others, bringing into sharp focus how differently each member can experience the same family. The way children protect their mothers, the way mothers remain children themselves, and what a mess we can still make of things despite our best intentions. That we can choose to love each other regardless of who we turn out to be, no matter what.
–Maggie Ginsberg, author of Still True
Don’t Let Me Keep You follows a math prodigy’s unconventional and slightly obsessive journey through motherhood. Giorgio’s dynamic characters and complex emotional bonds turn this family saga into a propulsive page turner wherein motherhood as a career is an empowering choice. At once gritty, heartbreaking, and hopeful, Don’t Let Me Keep You shows the fallibility of the human condition through the haunting eyes of a mother’s love as she struggles with the age-old question, Am I a good mother?
--Marisa Rae Dondlinger, author of Open and Come And Get Me
The thing I love about Kathie Giorgio's books are the surprises. Her books are not like anyone's. They are fresh, unique, and wonderful. Don't Let Me Keep You is all that and more. This is a story about motherhood, childhood and family. Belonging, expectations, and the enduring power of love. Of course, because this is Kathie's novel, there is poetry, and vignettes. A cast of characters worth knowing. And many opportunities to reflect on our lives as parents and children. I highly recommend Don't Let Me Keep You.
--Karen E. Osborne, Author of True Grace and Reckonings
With delightful finesse, author Kathie Giorgio weaves a flawless web of family love that weathers plenty of storms, but still comes out shimmering.
--Mary Ann Noe, author of Water the Color of Slate
Purchase a copy of Don’t Let Me Keep You on
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Let-Me-Keep-You/dp/1685134882
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dont-let-me-keep-you-kathie-giorgio/1145428066
Black Rose Publishing: https://www.blackrosewriting.com/womens/p/dontletmekeepyou
You can also add this to your GoodReads reading list:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/211567748-don-t-let-me-keep-you
Follow the Blog Tour
October 21st @ The Muffin
Join us as we celebrate the launch of Kathie Giorgio's novel Don't Let Me Keep You. Read an interview with the author and enter to win a copy of her book.
https://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com
October 22nd @ Tracey Lampley
Kathie Giorgio reveals how she had 15 books published with traditional publishers in 14 years, including her latest Don't Let Me Keep You.
https://www.traceylampley.com/guest-author-interviews
October 24th @ What Is This Book About
Get a peek inside Don't Let Me Keep You with today's excerpt.
October 25th @ The Frugalista Mom
Rochie will be reviewing Kathie Giorgio's latest novel Don't Let Me Keep You.
October 26th @ A Wonderful World of Books
Author Kathie Giorgio writes about controversial books and the hurdles they face in today's post: You've Been Banned. Now What?
https://awonderfulworldofwordsa.blogspot.com/
October 29th @ Michelle Cornish
Learn what Michelle thinks about Kathie Giorgio's latest novel: Don't Let Me Keep You.
https://michellecornishauthor.com/blog/book-reviews
October 30th @ Create Write Now!
Is Writer's Block real? Learn what author Kathie Giorgio has to say today on CreateWriteNow!
https://www.createwritenow.com/journal-writing-blog
October 31st @ The Frugalista Mom
In a complicated world, author Kathie Giorgio shares how she takes on controversial topics in her writing.
November 1st @ Michelle Cornish
Author Kathie Giorgio shares the challenges of writing through illness and crisis.
https://www.michellecornish.com/blog
November 4th @ A Story Book World
What's on your TBR list for November? Learn more about Kathie Giorgio's latest novel Don't Let Me Keep You.
https://www.astorybookworld.com/
November 5th @ Chapter Break
Kathie Giorgio writes about the precarious balancing act of writing and raising children.
November 7th @ Knotty Needle
Still deciding on your November read? Check out today's review of Don't Let Me Keep You by Kathie Giorgio.
http://knottyneedle.blogspot.com
November 8th @ Word Magic
Author Kathie Giorgio shares her thoughts on writing as a business.
https://fionaingramauthor.blogspot.com
November 12th @ The Faerie Review
The spotlight is on Kathie Giorgio's latest novel, Don't Let Me Keep You.
https://www.thefaeriereview.com
November 13th @ Words by Webb
Jodi is reviewing Don't Let Me Keep You by Kathie Giorgio.
https://www.jodiwebbwriter.com/blog
November 15th @ Choices
Author Kathie Giorgio writes about Depression: Putting One Foot in Front of the Other.
November 19th @ StoreyBook Reviews
Looking for a good book for the Thanksgiving holiday? Leslie is reviewing Don't Let Me Keep You by Kathie Giorgio.